Recovery story - My journey back to life

My journey back to life

by Sam

There is a poem about following the road less travelled. The end line of the poem says something along the lines of "I took the road less travelled, and that has made all the difference". That is how I would define my recovery - taking the road less travelled, making the harder choices and knowing the rewards of being true to myself.

I suffered with bulimia from the age of 13 until I went into recovery at the age of 19. At the start, bulimia was a clever way of losing weight - how unfortunate that I would only learn later the truth about its dark and insidious nature.

I mainly used my ED (Eating Disorder) as a way of hiding from the world, of masking my pain and ultimately making myself numb. The truth is that being numb is overrated - because if you block out all the pain, you block any chance of feeling happy too. I eventually entered treatment when I realised that I could not carry on this way - something had to change. I went in to therapy with the most wonderful psychologist.

I committed myself to recovery. And I cannot lie - it was hard. So hard, that sometimes I thought it was not possible. But I had a wonderful support system which carried me through. I also started taking anti depressants, which I was completely against in the beginning. However for me, and I emphasise for me, they have been a life saver.

I have been in recovery (and you could say recovered) for the last three years now. I am so grateful for the life I have. I have so many blessings, and I truly love myself. I am happy! I do believe that recovery is an ongoing journey - and I now see my ED is a blessing. Yes, while it took so much away from me, had I not had these disease, I would never have received many of the wonderful gifts which I have now.

My message to others is that it can be done - you have the power to completely transform your life, but the power lies within YOU. Only you can make the decision to change and if you truly want it, recovery can be yours.